Monday, May 05, 2008

Dress Code: Admission of Illicit Sex by a Politician

A friend sent this captioned picture. I had some thoughts, an edited version of which appear below:
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I think the "blue dress" thing is a mistake. Could be why they were unable to get Bill Clinton as their warm up act.

These "Dress Code" items were missed in the initial analysis:

1- Lapel pins and American flags in the background are required.

2- State flag necessary for the "coming out" press conference.

3- Pursing of lips by the sexual "experimenter" is mandatory (biting one's lower lip is a Presidential prerogative). The optimum degree of pursing should be investigated for any relationship to experience in whatever sexual practices/preferences may be related to, well... pursing one's lips. I think Spitzer is at a disadvantage in this case, and that would seem logical. However, this would have to be researched based on a larger sample. Perhaps some pictures of Senator Larry Craig's press conferences could be obtained to compare with Senator Gary Hart's performances. Other Experimental Subjects easily suggest themselves, and Hillary probably still has their FBI files.

They are all wearing clothes. Upside - not grossing out your former constituents, and it's easy to wear a lapel pin. Downside - wearing a lapel pin while naked conveys greater sincerity. Sincerity may be a non-starter, however.

Wive's hair style appears to have been co-ordinated. Is this important? Maybe not, but can you imagine the conversation if Mrs. Spitzer had actually called Mrs. McGreevey for advice on what to wear?

I'm thinking that the Governor should have been the one wearing pearls. Just one strand, though. We have some dignity to maintain. Same reason for going light on the lip gloss.

The other part of the drill, for the women, appears to be "Scan the audience to see if Ashley Dupre showed up for the presser." vs. "Stare at your husband as if you're imagining where best to stick the knife."

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