Following recent allegations that DEA agents had "sex parties" with prostitutes hired by local drug cartels in Colombia, Eric Holder felt compelled to send a memo to all his staff: "I want to reiterate to all Department personnel, including attorneys and law enforcement officers, that they are prohibited from soliciting, procuring, or accepting commercial sex."
Not to worry, Eric. If it's government procurement it is not, by definition, commercial sex: It's a public/private-parts...nership.
Still, since you felt the need to raise the issue, I'd say that while your memo may have been necessary, it was certainly insufficient. Rather, the phrase "Drop your c**ks and grab your socks," comes to mind.
What it lacks in nuance it recovers from pithiness.