Saturday, November 14, 2015

Safe-space creation gap?

Supporters of the #BlackLivesMatter Speech Supression Squad have been shocked by a humiliating loss in the international safe-space creation competition.

We spoke with the coaching staff in the faculty lounge. While none would speak for attribution, the prevailing sentiment is they were caught flat-footed, failing to appreciate Team ISIS’ determination to create a world wide Islamist safe-space.

Team members were more forthcoming.

“We thought we had speech suppression and the intimidation of Western Cultural lackies locked up,” said a Graduate Assistant in Transgender Restroom Implementation Studies at Yale. “The administrators were resigning like flies. All eyes were on our message… Then this [the Paris massacres]. Now I’m worried my grant to study the Post-modern Psychological Implications of LGBT Restroom Stall Design could be reallocated to the Defense Department.”

A professor from the University of Missouri School of Relativist Morality commented, “Our scouting reports completely missed this. Our scouts didn’t even tell us about Charlie Hebdo, because they said it might upset us… Well, yeah.”

He went on to say, “We’re hopelessly outclassed in the attention whoring twitter sweepstakes, our precious little fascists are sounding like John Kasich at the last GOP debate.” As examples he displayed screen shots of tweets (since deleted) from Team #BlackLivesMatter:


For more examples, see this link.

“Look, we’re way behind,” an Administrative Assistant to the Office of Diversity Determination at the University of Michigan told us, “we understand these ISIS guys have every right to make people shut up about Mohammed, peace be upon him. We get that. They just need to leave us a little space for tweeting about what we don’t want discussed. Like police and guns and terrorism. And words.”

“We know we’ve got work to do to become competitive,” said a spokespersyn at Amherst College, “the first step in our rebuilding process is to implement the re-education camp protocols. We’re really serious about it, and we’ve started setting up safe-spaces where we can work without any distractions from reality.”

Whether Team #BlackLivesMatter can achieve a resurgence remains to be seen.

Update 4:32PM More #Mizzou whining here.

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